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What Understanding ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ Has Taught Me

By | ACT, Confidence, Shame | No Comments

What Understanding ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ Has Taught Me We’ve all heard the saying ‘nobody’s perfect’. I think we can all agree that this is true. The funny thing is that so many people don’t really understand the power that is contained within these words and how a bit of reflection on them could have a more meaningful relationship with them. How it is often used. When we hear people say ‘nobody’s perfect’, it is generally used more as an excuse and often as a request to cut some slack. “You didn’t do what I asked you to do last night.” “I’m sorry. Nobody’s perfect!” Or it can often be used as a consolation for things that are often something that we don’t like about ourselves and that we are often unable (or unwilling) to change. “I do smoke but nobody’s perfect and everyone has at least one flaw…” This is where it gets a bit murky. While it is true that we should often show self-compassion, we shouldn’t be using something like this to excuse behaviour that is unacceptable or that could be changed. Unfortunately, this is often where this saying is potentially abused. You’re not perfect. No one is perfect….

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Embrace Your Confidence and Eliminate the Toxic Shame Workshop

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Hypnotherapy HQ presents – “Embrace Your Confidence and Eliminate the Toxic Shame“ Workshop – February 2018 Facilitated by Lawrence Akers and Joe Busuttil. “I’m just not good enough.” “Nobody will find me loveable.” “I don’t have the intelligence to do that job.” How often do we find ourselves sitting with messages that we believe about ourselves that hold us back from the things that we might want to do? Holding us back with a belief that we’re inferior to others because of how we look, our education, our size, our race, our sexual orientation… From the moment we are born, we begin to form beliefs about who we are and our place in the world. We ‘learn’ from those around us the things that we choose to believe about ourselves. We learn from our parents, our peers, our school, our religion and our culture/society. When we believe we are inferior in any way, this belief about who we are can often form into a ‘shame message’. It can become that automatic thought that forms part of our reality about the world and our place within it. What is shame? Shame is that uncomfortable feeling that we are not enough in…

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OUTthink Is Taking a Quick Break… And Will Be Back Soon!

By | LGBTQI, OUTthink, Relationships, Shame | No Comments

OUTthink Is Taking a Quick Break… And Will Be Back Soon! As you can imagine, it takes a lot of time to continue to produce a podcast series like OUTthink. Between approaching guests, organising times, recording, editing, uploading and publicising, there is a lot of work involved! With that in mind, OUTthink is taking a short break to make time to record new guests and to get some insightful and engaging content together. We’ve got some awesome guests coming up in the very near future! In the meantime, there is six months of OUTthink to go back over if you haven’t heard them all already. Below are some of the most successful episodes as streamed on Youtube to date! Ep 9 – Brian Madigan – Naked Gay Man Brian Madigan runs Get Naked Guru and this podcast looks at stripping ourselves down to our vulnerable self and being authentic. It is also the one and only video OUTthink podcast we’ve done to date but something that we’re exploring as a more regular format in the near future. Ep 11 – Matthew Cooksey – The Velvet Rage I approached Matthew to do an OUTthink episode on the book, ‘The Velvet Rage’…

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Book Review: ‘Daring Greatly’

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Book Review ‘Daring Greatly – How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead.’ Brene Brown Over the past year, I have spent a lot of time researching the topic of shame and vulnerability. It is a curious topic; the more I dig beneath the surface, the more I become completely fascinated and consumed by it and the more I recognize it every day in day to day situations. It was also one of the reasons why I had my own new year’s resolution around being more authentic in my day to day transactions, which would mean digging deep into my personal values and then living by them, no matter what kind of confrontation or awkwardness it may present. I can assure you now, it is harder than it sounds and it can often take a lot of courage to live authentically. I readily admit, there are times where I simply fail. Shame and vulnerability ‘Daring Greatly’ is a book that really delves into the topics of shame and vulnerability. It is a book so full of ‘aha’ moments that you could read it now, feel inspired, read it again in 12 months and…

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Getting Mental Health On The Line – Weekending 28/05/17

By | Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Happiness, Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy, Mental Health, Shame, Therapy, Trauma | No Comments

Getting Mental Health On The Line – Weekending 28/05/17 This is a weekly post to act as an additional resource for both clients and fellow therapists alike. This week, we’re presenting some of the best from the past week featuring topics as diverse as a look at cognitive distortions, bringing a free online course about dementia to your awareness, a look at the stigma around mental health, a fascinating look at how hypnosis can help with allergies, learn hypnosis basics via the brilliant guys at Uncommon Knowledge (plus a free hypnosis session audio from them on terrorism if the past weeks events have had an impact on you), a look at leadership and higher purpose, getting started with self-actualisation, and finally, a look at how the unconscious helps to create the narrative (and your reality) in consciousness. It’s a MASSIVE week. If you have a video that you would like featured in our weekly roundup, then drop Lawrence a line with a link to your video. Cognitive Distortions By AllCEUs Counseling Education Dementia – free online course at FutureLearn.com By FutureLearn Sign up now at http://bit.ly/2r4GVQw. ‘Dementia’ is a free online course by the University of Birmingham on FutureLearn.com If…

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OUTthink – Anthony Lekkas Talks On Same-Sex Domestic Violence

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OUTthink – Anthony Lekkas Talks On Same-Sex Domestic Violence Domestic violence is a massive problem in our society yet we often don’t stop to think about how domestic violence can impact on LGBT relationships. In a world where male ‘rough and tumble’ can often be normalised, how does domestic violence become understood within a same-sex relationship. In this episode of OUTthink, Counsellor, Psychotherapist and Facilitator, Anthony Lekkas explores what domestic violence is (across emotional and physical) along with the impact that it has on the LGBT community. About out guest, Anthony Lekkas Anthony is a qualified and registered counsellor and psychotherapist with the Australian Counselling Association. He has over ten years of experience at working in the not-for-profit sector at providing therapeutic services to young people, adults and couples. Anthony also has experience at facilitating a range of therapeutic and support groups. Anthony’s professional work experience has given him the privilege to support various relationship circumstances for relationship strengthening, conflict resolution, family separation and family/ domestic violence. Anthony provides a non-judgemental, understanding and safe environment for you to explore your relationship tensions and difficulties in order to arrive at a more equal, compassionate, nurturing and loving bond. Anthony’s work history…

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OUTthink – Scott Brennan Returns To Talk LGBT And Comedy

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OUTthink – Scott Brennan Returns to Talk LGBT and Comedy The latest OUTthink has comedian, writer, producer, actor and Golden Gibbo Award winner, Scott Brennan return to conclude our chat on gay men and their use of humour as being both the butt of the joke as well as using humour and comedy as a defence mechanism. Last podcast, Scott talked about how he used humour during his school days in order to fit in with the rest of the group and how it has impacted on how he writes comedy for the mainstream audience. This time around, we continue our chat on the film ‘The Boys In The Band’ as well as looking at some of our favourite gay characters from television series in the past. This podcast is part 2 of a 2 part podcast. Part 1 is available in the links under About OUTthink Podcast below. Since releasing this podcast, I’ve come across another Youtube video that may be of interest to people with this topic. About Scott Brennan Scott is an actor, comedian and writer who has appeared in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, countless television shows including skitHouse, Comedy Inc, Agony Uncles and Neighbours, podcaster…

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OUTthink – Scott Brennan – Gay Men and Humour

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OUTthink – Scott Brennan – Gay Men and Humour The latest OUTthink is an interesting podcast simply because of the fact that we’re handling a topic you may not have thought of before; gay men and humour. More specifically, how gay men are used as the butt of jokes and also how gay men frequently use humour as a form of defence mechanism. It should be noted here that the entire LGBTQIA community are frequently the butt of jokes by the mainstream AND use humour as a defense mechanism (many people do regardless of sexual orientation) however, for the purpose of today’s podcast, instead of trying to be all encompassing, we have focused largely on gay men. It has often been said that humour needs to have an element of truth in order to be funny and that it is a reflection of the society that it comes from. For this reason, laughing with or at the gay and lesbian community can be both something that brings us together as well as something that can bring each of us down in shame and self-loathing. We’ve all bonded over a joke in some cases while being the butt of someone else’s…

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Getting Mental Health On The Line – Weekending 16/04/17

By | Emotional Release, Mindfulness, Relationships, Shame | No Comments

Getting Mental Health On The Line – Weekending 16/04/17 This is a weekly post to act as an additional resource for both clients and fellow therapists alike. This week, we’re presenting some of the best from the past week featuring topics as diverse as OCD and compassion, a brilliant lecture by Deepak Chopra on finding your true self, a meditation to help release from attachments, the Hero’s Journey, the impact of shame on relationships, and a couple of pieces on the topic of mindfulness. If you have a video that you would like featured in our weekly roundup, then drop Lawrence a line with a link to your video. 12: Why Mindfulness? By Steps for Change What is all the fuss about mindfulness and mindful meditation? Dr. Greg Hamlin briefly describes what mindfulness is and how it enhances emotional intelligence. He then explains three ways that mindfulness can increase your happiness by helping you to tune in to what is positive, store up positive memories, and reduce the time you spend on negative memories that are not worth your attention. Finally, he suggests a very practical way to instantly get started practicing mindfulness. Donna Bloom: The Mindfulness Formula By Paul…

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OUTthink – Matthew Cooksey – A Discussion on ‘The Velvet Rage’

By | LGBTQI, OUTthink, Podcast, Shame | No Comments

OUTthink – Matthew Cooksey – A Discussion on ‘The Velvet Rage’ It was around the middle of last year that my supervisor recommended that I read ‘The Velvet Rage’. I had mentioned how my focus was working with the LGBT community and he had reached over to his very large, very full bookcase and pulled out a copy like it had been sitting there waiting for me to arrive. I immediately went out and purchased a copy so that I could immerse myself in a book that had become a foundation of my past year. Since then, I’ve recommended the book many times to clients who have come in to see me as well as writing my own review on my blog. I first contacted Matthew because of ‘The Velvet Rage’. I noticed that he was running free workshops based on ‘The Velvet Rage’ and the concept fascinated me. I had been putting the plans in place to start OUTthink by that point and thought that Matthew could be a great guest to talk about this book that we were both so passionate about. And so, it finally happened. In a decision not to cut the conversation down into two…

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