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What Understanding ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ Has Taught Me

By | ACT, Confidence, Shame | No Comments

What Understanding ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ Has Taught Me We’ve all heard the saying ‘nobody’s perfect’. I think we can all agree that this is true. The funny thing is that so many people don’t really understand the power that is contained within these words and how a bit of reflection on them could have a more meaningful relationship with them. How it is often used. When we hear people say ‘nobody’s perfect’, it is generally used more as an excuse and often as a request to cut some slack. “You didn’t do what I asked you to do last night.” “I’m sorry. Nobody’s perfect!” Or it can often be used as a consolation for things that are often something that we don’t like about ourselves and that we are often unable (or unwilling) to change. “I do smoke but nobody’s perfect and everyone has at least one flaw…” This is where it gets a bit murky. While it is true that we should often show self-compassion, we shouldn’t be using something like this to excuse behaviour that is unacceptable or that could be changed. Unfortunately, this is often where this saying is potentially abused. You’re not perfect. No one is perfect….

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Can’t Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions – Try Being Kind To Yourself

By | Habits, Motivation | No Comments

Can’t keep your New Year’s resolutions – try being kind to yourself Kristin Neff, University of Texas at Austin Many of us will start out the New Year by making a list of resolutions – changes we want to make to be happier such as eating better, volunteering more often, being a more attentive spouse, and so on. But, as we know, we will often fail. After a few failures we will typically give up and go back to our old habits. Why is it so hard to stick to resolutions that require us to make effective or lasting changes? I would argue the problem isn’t that we try and we fail –– the problem is how we treat ourselves when we fail. I study self-compassion, and my research and that of others show that how we relate to personal failure – with kindness or harsh self-judgment – is incredibly important for building resilience. From early childhood, we are taught how we must succeed at all costs. What most of us aren’t taught is how to fail successfully so we can change and grow. One of the best ways to deal with failure is to have self-compassion. What exactly is…

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