Hypnotherapy HQ presents –
“Embrace Your Confidence and Eliminate the Toxic Shame“ Workshop – February 2018
Facilitated by Lawrence Akers and Joe Busuttil.
“I’m just not good enough.”
“Nobody will find me loveable.”
“I don’t have the intelligence to do that job.”
How often do we find ourselves sitting with messages that we believe about ourselves that hold us back from the things that we might want to do?
Holding us back with a belief that we’re inferior to others because of how we look, our education, our size, our race, our sexual orientation…
From the moment we are born, we begin to form beliefs about who we are and our place in the world. We ‘learn’ from those around us the things that we choose to believe about ourselves. We learn from our parents, our peers, our school, our religion and our culture/society.
When we believe we are inferior in any way, this belief about who we are can often form into a ‘shame message’. It can become that automatic thought that forms part of our reality about the world and our place within it.
What is shame?
Shame is that uncomfortable feeling that we are not enough in some way; that people will find us to be inferior or flawed and choose to reject us. That fear of rejection can often drive our behaviour around shame; from outbursts of rage and anger through to the creation of a version of the self that you believe other people are expecting and want to see.
Shame is both a primary emotion and a freeze state, which has a profound effect on personal development and relationship success. In spite of its universality and it’s power, shame is rarely acknowledged in our culture and has been terribly neglected in most psychotherapy and other helping professions. While Shame is often confused with Guilt, shame is primary and exists in the body while guilt is secondary and cognitive, relating to both shame and remorse.
Shame is perhaps the most painful of all emotions. It is at the root of both “the inner critic” and perfectionism. It binds with and hides behind other emotions, such as anger and fear so that it is often hard to detect. Many people go to great lengths to avoid acknowledging or even feeling shame – and this gets in the way of making progress in treatment.
Shame often fuels and promotes the negative cycle between members of a couple. Where there is blame, there is shame.
Shame can be viewed as developmental trauma. It causes much of the same physical and emotional freezing as trauma does. Not only do we lose tonus and energy, but it becomes hard to think clearly in a shame state. And shame often accompanies trauma, forming a downward spiral that is hard to break.
About the workshop
“This workshop developed out of our life-changing experience in discovering and exploring our own bypassed shame – and our extensive reading of the shame literature. As therapists and facilitators, we found that our new ability to identify and explore shame vastly expanded our capacity to help clients to heal their shame and come to peace with themselves. It became clear to us that we needed to pass on what we had discovered. We are extremely gratified by the overwhelmingly positive response this Workshop is receiving.
“Shame is something that gets between a person and their soul – their self-expression, their relationships, their sense of self. Much of the material we bring to this workshop comes from many years working with clients and coming to understand the all-pervasive shame that permeates their day to day experience. It also comes from our own journey with coming out as gay. We have helped clients who are caught in a horrible dance of shame and blame. We have discovered ways to support people in confronting their shame and growing beyond it to a place of joy, creativity, and life force. It’s important to us to share our deepening understanding of shame – and how to heal it – through this workshop.” Lawrence & Joe
Not everyone is born with an inbuilt sense of self-confidence. Sometimes it can be hard to develop confidence, either because personal experiences have caused you to lose confidence or because you suffer from low self-esteem.
A confident person:
- does what they believe is right, even if it’s unpopular
- is willing to take risks
- admits their mistakes and learns from them
- is able to accept a compliment
- is optimistic.
Understanding working with shame
The difficulty we feel in dealing with shame carries over into the therapy situation. For many clients who don’t get better in therapy, shame – unacknowledged and not worked through – is the primary factor. Both therapists and clients need to be educated about shame – how it develops, what it is and how it works. And therapists need help in developing a working model of how to help their clients identify, work through and heal their shame.
This workshop provides essential, basic knowledge of how to work with shame. We will learn what shame is and how it is created, and how to help our clients recognize shame, work through it and move on.
Together in this workshop, we will explore:
- Shame and its many faces
- Where shame comes from
- How shame is experienced and the internalization process
- The impact on the development of identity
- Restoring the interpersonal bridge
- Build confidence and develop your self-esteem
Through an understanding of shame, self-acceptance, and self-compassion, we can learn how to silence the shame messages that hold us back from being the true version of ourselves and find the confidence to step forward with every perfect flaw.
When: Sunday, 18th February 2018
Time: 10:00am until 4:00pm
Where: Hypnotherapy HQ
Address: Suite 101 / 370 St Kilda Rd, Melbourne
You might also like to read:
Book Review: Healing The Shame That Binds You
What is Shame (Really)?
Book Review: Daring Greatly
Are you a Melbourne based Hypnotherapist, Therapist or Coach looking for rooms to hire?