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Surviving Christmas 2018

By Anxiety, Depression, Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Shame, Weight Management

Surviving Christmas 2018 While many people look forward to the end of year celebrations, there are also many other people who struggle to survive and experience stress, anxiety and depression from the Christmas period. For some, Christmas can be a costly experience that impacts on their financial well being. It can be an overwhelming period for people who live with anxiety and depression. It can be a period where high expectations are built, both by ourselves and from others, which can often be hard to meet. It can be a period where we eat too much, drink too much, or just party too much in general, leaving us feeling out of shape, fatigued and not feeling our best. Don’t get me wrong; it can also be a time of joy, happiness, child like wonder and an opportunity for harmonious families to get together. For every joy of love, peace and happy families though, there are an equal number who simply wish Christmas would pass quickly. While not necessarily related, there has been recent research to indicate that Christmas music may not be good for your mental health. Now, I’m not sure if this is 100% true or not but it…

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Toxic Workplaces Are Feeding The Impostor Phenomenon – Here’s Why

By Imposter Syndrome, Mental Health, Shame

Toxic workplaces are feeding the impostor phenomenon – here’s why Amina Aitsi-Selmi, UCL and Theresa Simpkin, Anglia Ruskin University Research suggests that around 70% of people will experience an illogical sense of being a phoney at work at some point in their careers. It’s called the impostor phenomenon (also known, erroneously, as a syndrome). These impostor feelings typically manifest as a fear of failure, fear of success, a sometimes obsessive need for perfection, and an inability to accept praise and achievement. The phenomenon is also characterised by a genuine belief that at some point you, as the “impostor”, are going to be found out for being a fake in your role. The phenomenon has been researched for more than 40 years and recent research into women working in sciences, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM), suggests that there is a much higher incidence of it in women in these non-traditional roles. Despite being something that affects people at an individual level, the relationship between toxic workplaces and well-being is well established. It seems that the impostor phenomenon breeds from a mix of genuine personal doubt over work abilities and the collective experience of a toxic work culture. Simply put, our modern…

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OUTthink – An LGBT Podcast Retrospective

By LGBTQI, Mental Health, OUTthink, Shame, Therapy, Uncategorized

OUTthink – An LGBT Podcast Retrospective This episode of OUTthink, we’re going back in time! Since beginning late 2016, I’ve been so fortunate to have been able to meet and chat with some truly inspiring people within the LGBT community and discuss their stories or gain their insights into some of the bigger issues that exist out there within our community. The challenge for me is that, as a podcast that has no intention to benefit financially, bandwidth can be limited and so we’ve reached a point where I have to clean up and create space. With that in mind, and with a desire to keep some of the key lessons and insights from the earlier episodes, we delve back to explore those initial handful of OUTthinks with our guests Daniel Cordner, Lisa Torney and Joe Busuttil. About Daniel Cordner Daniel was our very first guest way back in 2016. In fact, OUTthink went from being an idea to being a reality due to a catch-up and coffee with Danny where I found our conversation came so thick and fast that it prompted me to tell him about this podcast idea that I had and wondered if he would like…

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Review: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

By ACT, Shame

Review: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson What do you give a f*ck about? I turned 40 a few years back. Around the time I turned 40, things felt like they were beginning to ‘fall into place’. I often refer to it as that ‘sense of alignment where everything is pointing in the same direction’. I was finding myself taking more risks from the heart instead of the head and bringing change into my life that felt good and more authentic. Doing that also took a greater sense of courage and vulnerability. To be able to step into a new and uncertain opportunity meant embracing the hope of a more meaningful day but also realising that there was a risk that I might also fall flat on my face. To be honest, even acknowledging both sides of that ‘risk vs reward’, I was ok with that. It didn’t mean that I didn’t still feel the anxiety of taking that risk however it did mean that I felt I was living far more authentically. I remember being at a bar with a friend of mine named Darren and saying to him that I didn’t feel like I…

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Imposter Syndrome Phenomena Shame Guilt Not Good Enough Release Hypnosis Melbourne Hypnotherapy Counselling Acceptance Work

How I Learned To Tell Myself To ‘Shut Up’

By Confidence, Inner Child, Mindfulness, Regression, Shame, Trauma

How I Learned To Tell Myself To ‘Shut Up’ Or, how to embrace your confidence and to eliminate toxic shame. For much of my adult working life, I’ve worked within the recruitment sector. Creative recruitment, to be exact. My role was often very demanding. I’d be required to find new clients (including cold calling), maintain existing client relationships, ask for and take job briefs, search for suitable candidates, interview suitable candidates, reference check suitable candidates, present across the suitable candidates and then, lastly, convince the client as to why they were the most suitable candidates that they would be able to find. On top of all of that, while this was going on, we were often finding that we would need to justify our existence and our rate every step of the way. There is often a line within that industry that people never choose to be a recruiter, it is a job that they fall into. When it came to creative recruitment, it was often just that tough harder as we weren’t talking about a job that people just ‘did for the money’. These were creatives and their jobs were often a reflection of who they identified themselves as…

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What Understanding ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ Has Taught Me

By ACT, Confidence, Shame

What Understanding ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ Has Taught Me We’ve all heard the saying ‘nobody’s perfect’. I think we can all agree that this is true. The funny thing is that so many people don’t really understand the power that is contained within these words and how a bit of reflection on them could have a more meaningful relationship with them. How it is often used. When we hear people say ‘nobody’s perfect’, it is generally used more as an excuse and often as a request to cut some slack. “You didn’t do what I asked you to do last night.” “I’m sorry. Nobody’s perfect!” Or it can often be used as a consolation for things that are often something that we don’t like about ourselves and that we are often unable (or unwilling) to change. “I do smoke but nobody’s perfect and everyone has at least one flaw…” This is where it gets a bit murky. While it is true that we should often show self-compassion, we shouldn’t be using something like this to excuse behaviour that is unacceptable or that could be changed. Unfortunately, this is often where this saying is potentially abused. You’re not perfect. No one is perfect….

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Embrace Your Confidence and Eliminate the Toxic Shame Workshop

By Shame

Hypnotherapy HQ presents – “Embrace Your Confidence and Eliminate the Toxic Shame“ Workshop – May 2018 Facilitated by Lawrence Akers and Joe Busuttil. “I’m just not good enough.” “Nobody will find me loveable.” “I don’t have the intelligence to do that job.” How often do we find ourselves sitting with messages that we believe about ourselves that hold us back from the things that we might want to do? Holding us back with a belief that we’re inferior to others because of how we look, our education, our size, our race, our sexual orientation… From the moment we are born, we begin to form beliefs about who we are and our place in the world. We ‘learn’ from those around us the things that we choose to believe about ourselves. We learn from our parents, our peers, our school, our religion and our culture/society. When we believe we are inferior in any way, this belief about who we are can often form into a ‘shame message’. It can become that automatic thought that forms part of our reality about the world and our place within it. What is shame? Shame is that uncomfortable feeling that we are not enough in…

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OUTthink Is Taking a Quick Break… And Will Be Back Soon!

By LGBTQI, OUTthink, Relationships, Shame

OUTthink Is Taking a Quick Break… And Will Be Back Soon! As you can imagine, it takes a lot of time to continue to produce a podcast series like OUTthink. Between approaching guests, organising times, recording, editing, uploading and publicising, there is a lot of work involved! With that in mind, OUTthink is taking a short break to make time to record new guests and to get some insightful and engaging content together. We’ve got some awesome guests coming up in the very near future! In the meantime, there is six months of OUTthink to go back over if you haven’t heard them all already. Below are some of the most successful episodes as streamed on Youtube to date! Ep 9 – Brian Madigan – Naked Gay Man Brian Madigan runs Get Naked Guru and this podcast looks at stripping ourselves down to our vulnerable self and being authentic. It is also the one and only video OUTthink podcast we’ve done to date but something that we’re exploring as a more regular format in the near future. Ep 11 – Matthew Cooksey – The Velvet Rage I approached Matthew to do an OUTthink episode on the book, ‘The Velvet Rage’…

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Book Review: ‘Daring Greatly’

By Shame

Book Review ‘Daring Greatly – How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead.’ Brene Brown Over the past year, I have spent a lot of time researching the topic of shame and vulnerability. It is a curious topic; the more I dig beneath the surface, the more I become completely fascinated and consumed by it and the more I recognize it every day in day to day situations. It was also one of the reasons why I had my own new year’s resolution around being more authentic in my day to day transactions, which would mean digging deep into my personal values and then living by them, no matter what kind of confrontation or awkwardness it may present. I can assure you now, it is harder than it sounds and it can often take a lot of courage to live authentically. I readily admit, there are times where I simply fail. Shame and vulnerability ‘Daring Greatly’ is a book that really delves into the topics of shame and vulnerability. It is a book so full of ‘aha’ moments that you could read it now, feel inspired, read it again in 12 months and…

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Getting Mental Health On The Line – Weekending 28/05/17

By Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Happiness, Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy, Mental Health, Shame, Therapy, Trauma

Getting Mental Health On The Line – Weekending 28/05/17 This is a weekly post to act as an additional resource for both clients and fellow therapists alike. This week, we’re presenting some of the best from the past week featuring topics as diverse as a look at cognitive distortions, a look at the stigma around mental health, a fascinating look at how hypnosis can help with allergies, learn hypnosis basics via the brilliant guys at Uncommon Knowledge (plus a free hypnosis session audio from them on terrorism if the past weeks events have had an impact on you), a look at leadership and higher purpose, getting started with self-actualisation, and finally, a look at how the unconscious helps to create the narrative (and your reality) in consciousness. It’s a MASSIVE week. If you have a video that you would like featured in our weekly roundup, then drop Lawrence a line with a link to your video. Cognitive Distortions By AllCEUs Counseling Education There’s no shame in taking care of your mental health | Sangu Delle By TED Talks When stress got to be too much for TED Fellow Sangu Delle, he had to confront his own deep prejudice: that men…

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